Chapter Thirteen:
Dearest Wish
Soren straightened up, grasping his wounded arm in one hand. The power from the red lindworm was absorbing into his body much faster than the blue had mine. Every so often he hissed in pain, but his eyes were clear and he moved without effort.
"Satupoika? Your mother is Satu?" Soren asked.
Seppo nodded. "Yes, she is."
Satu. Satu. I'd heard the name before. I was always brought along to Soren's council meetings as a cupbearer, though my real job was to listen and look for anything that would be of gain to us. One night when one of the goblins had too much to drink he complained about a rejected marriage proposal. Soren had laughed in his face and asked what he expected from Satu, she was the fiercest she-goblin in the realm, after all, and she wasn't about to give that up for some brute seeking her claim.
"You're not a goblin," Soren accused. "Not a human either."
"No," Seppo said, "I'm both."
Both? He wasn't like me. Somehow I could tell that.
He sighed. "You see, when a female and a male love each other very much—and one of them masters the self control needed to not ravage their sexual partner—sometimes, that results in something known as a baby."
"A halfling," Soren snorted with contempt. "Figures Satu would have such an unconventional son."
Seppo raised his eyebrows. "My mother is an unconventional woman."
I looked closer at the halfling. He had sharp eyes and a long nose, ears tapered to tips, but his build was lean and lanky, more like a human's, and when he smiled he bore no fangs. In all my years in the Permafrost, I'd never seen anything like it.
Unconventional was the word Soren used, but I had a feeling he was trying to be polite to our savior. I had a feeling the word he wanted to use was taboo.
Seppo's sapphire eyes latched onto me. "Close your mouth. You'll swallow a bug. Besides, I'd like think this is nothing new to you at all, sweetheart. Considering..." he trailed off but motioned between me and Soren with his little finger.
A choked sound came from Soren, whose hand was still clutching his arm. The puncture wound went deep into his nerves and muscles. His face didn't betray an ounce of pain on his face, but his eyes grew wide a Seppo's words. "Let's talk about my choice of sexual partner another time, shall we?" he grunted. "I don't know if it escaped your notice, but the damn lindworm bit me and the venom usually is fatal."
This time the choked noise came from me. Soren's arm was a nasty shade of yellow and green. Lindworm venom wasn't usually fatal; it was always fatal. It hit me with the force of a tempest and the pain from the fight turned into a much deeper, less physical pain. It could've been me clutching my arm, dying slowly. It should've been me. The newfound feelings inside of me that had taken root during my time with the svartelves churned into a mixture with rage and pain. I could only stare at Soren who turned paler by the second.
He looked down at me. His eyes were soft. "I'll be alright," he said. "I have to be."
"I thought goblins couldn't lie to themselves," I said.
"Well," Seppo pointed out, "he's lying to you. He has a couple hours at least, maybe a day or two. The power he absorbed should keep the venom from killing him for a while. We might be able to figure something out."
"We?" I asked. "Who is we?"
Seppo blinked, taken aback by the hostility in my tone. "Well, you, Soren, and I. I had an idea. Besides, it's not like I'm going to run after Lydian while he licks his wounds. I did just save your lives."
I bristled. Even if he was sincere, he abandoned Lydian the moment he judged him weak. Who was to say he wouldn't do the same to us? "How do you know there's a way to cure him? Lindworm venom is fatal, there's no antivenom."
Seppo rolled his eyes. "If there was only one solution to every problem the world would be insanely dull, don't you think, sweetheart?" Then he smiled. "I know you don't like me and I understand it. But I would ask you to trust me, if you can."
"How could you understand?" I took a step forward, the stiletto in my hand out and ready to strike. "You've worked for that—that monster—and suddenly decide to betray him? Is this a trick? Do you think we're stupid enough to fall for it? I know the games he likes to play or has he forgotten? He's half-mad and hasn't got a daily reminder like me, after all."
The rage and hatred inside me threatened to spill like poison from my mouth. Soren was dying. Lydian was up to something. This new man was shoving himself into our business when he had no place there at all. The feelings of security and peace that calmed me like a drug when I kissed Soren in the cavern had disappeared without a trace. I'd lost it. I'd lost what I loved. Again.
Soren's hand brushed against my shoulder, rubbing my arms in a soothing circular motion. "Calm down, Janneke."
I turned on Soren. "Calm down? How in Hel can I do that? You're going to die! You're going to die and leave me here and we both know what happens if you die! We both know!"
I couldn't do it. I wouldn't. I would never be Lydian's again. I would never feel that man's touch on my skin. The fear built up inside of me and I sucked in my breaths quicker and quicker until I was hyperventilating. I stumbled forward and Soren caught me in his arms.
"I'll never let him touch you," he whispered.
"And I just decided I wanted to live, too."
"And you will." His breath tickled my ear.
Soren didn't let me go as he addressed Seppo. "Satu is still alive, isn't she? Why isn't she on the hunt? Why were you with Lydian and not her?"
"Well," Seppo said, kicking at a bone. "I never really intended to win. It just sounded fun. So she gave me permission and here I am. As to why I was with Lydian, well," he paused. "We both know the reason for that."
Soren grunted. "There doesn't seem like there's a reason for it anymore."
I detached myself from Soren, breathing deeply to draw out the shame spreading through my body. I couldn't lose control like that; it would never serve me well. I straightened my bow on my shoulder, put the stiletto on the now empty sheath on my hip, and let my face fall into a mask.
"What do you both mean?" I asked. I certainty didn't know the reason Seppo joined Lydian or why it mattered to Soren now. For Odin's sake, I didn't know why anyone would want to join up with Lydian.
"Do you remember when the Stag ran?" Soren asked. "What happened right before it?"
"Yes, you both were throwing power around like mad and the floor split and—" I stopped, having answered my own question. "Lydian and your power was the strongest in the room that day. When you both released it, the Stag recognized it and ran. Lydian and you are the two most likely candidates for the next Erlking."
Soren nodded. "Yes, exactly. You don't know how many alliances I shot down before we went off." He shook his head. "Sometimes my fellow species are little more than vultures."
"Why though? Why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed. "Do you think, at the time, you would have hated me any less?"
He had me there. Even now, picturing him on the Erlking's throne, the most powerful predator in the Permafrost, I couldn't help the disgust that threatened to curl my upper lip. But the idea of Lydian was worse.
Seppo looked behind him, at the massive rock wall. Something shuddered and the ground beneath us shook. "We have to keep moving, I wasn't lying about the eggs. There should be another way out of here. I mean, the male got in from somewhere, didn't he?"
I looked up toward the ceiling. Yes, I could see it. It was a treacherous climb with sharp points and jagged edges, black ice and loose rock, but there was a hole up top big enough for the creature to get through.
The others followed my gaze. "Let's go," Soren said. He let go of his wounded arm, the dark green of the puncture mark now spreading up the length of his arm. I forced back the fear. We'll find a way.
I followed him, casting a glare at Seppo as he came beside me. "Why did you betray Lydian?" I asked. "Or did you really?"
He eyed me calmly. "You really dislike me, don't you?"
"Give me a reason to like you," I said.
Seppo started ticking off fingers. "Well, one, I saved you from becoming lindworm chow. Two, I saved you and Soren from Lydian. Three, I think I have an idea about how to heal Soren. And last but definitely not least, four, I know what Lydian is planning."
We'd reached the rock-and-ice wall. From where I stood, looking up at the daunting climb the hole seemed miles away. But without a word, Soren boosted himself up against the crags, his body searching for any hold it could take. I found a foothold and started the ascent myself, forcing my gaze upward, never down at the ground as I slowly went higher. Soren hissed as a piece of ice broke apart in his hand, leaving him hanging on by his bad arm. In one smooth motion, he swung his body until his back was against the wall, his feet on precarious edges.
Before I could do anything to help him, he tensed the muscles in his legs and sprang up, managing to grab a higher holding that jutted outward. The muscles in his arms were quivering, a sight I'd never seen before. But despite the pain he had to be in, not a single sound escaped from his lips.
My fingers curled against the ice as I pulled myself further and further up. The temptation to look down was gnawed at my insides, but if I did I was positive I would freeze on spot. The muscles in my arms screamed as I pulled myself from handhold to handhold, jagged piece of ice after jagged piece of ice. When I finally reached the top to the hole where Soren was currently climbing through my body crumpled to the ground with exhaustion. I lay on the smooth stone, muscles still shaking with effort.
Seppo came up last. For a moment we just lay on the smooth stone, fighting for breath. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of putrid flesh. Soren's arm was getting worse.
Even though my body screamed at me to rest I stood and straightened my weapons. "You said you knew a way to heal Soren," I said to Seppo.
"I did," he agreed.
"Well then let's hear it," I snapped, glancing back to where Soren lay, clutching his arm. Fear fluttered in my throat. He can't die. He can't.
"You know you'd make a lot more friends if you weren't so tense," Seppo said.
"I'm not here to make friends," I said. "Do you know how to heal Soren or don't you?"
Seppo rubbed the back of his neck. "When she was younger my mother spent a lot of time down here. She befriended the Folk that lived here and mapped out every passage and which creature lived inside it. She even had a nickname."
"Fairy tail," Soren rasped. "Because she followed the Folk more than she did goblinkind."
"She taught me about the passageways. About how if you whistle high enough, you can cause rocks to cave in, about where each creature resides, what it does, what you can get from it. Svartelves give knowledge about yourself, if you can survive the twisted way they show it, others grant pleasure, riches, wishes." His gaze narrowed. "There's a nøkken down near here and I think if we play him right, be can give us something."
Soren nodded gravely, standing with slow, heavy movements. I hoped it wasn't the venom, but his body aching from the climb. My own muscles were still spasming in pain, but I forced myself to keep standing. I would go on until I dropped.
"Nøkkens grant wishes, if you give them something in return," Seppo said. "Something personal, usually. It doesn't matter if there is no known cure for lindworm venom. A nøkken can make it if you desire it."
"They also like to trap their victims down underwater until they die," I said. The mothers of my village told their children the story before we could even walk. Don't wander too close to the water's edge. The nøkken will take you down to his realm.
"That won't happen," Seppo said, his voice sure. "We can outsmart them. You can outsmart them."
We'd started moving again, following Seppo down the darkened tunnels. Every nerve in my body urged me to kill this man before me. I didn't trust him. I'd made that clear and whatever Soren thought of him, I would continue to be wary. He'd been Lydian's man.
"Why me?" I asked.
"Can't you hear it?" That was Soren, his voice stronger now than before. "The rushing sound? Wherever that creature is living, the current's too strong for any goblin to stand it. It'll have to be you."
I closed my eyes, straining my ears. Yes, he was right. The violent, thunderous sound of rushing water was close by, like a hundred horses stampeding past. It wasn't a current any goblin could survive in, it would suck all their power away the minute they hit the water.
"Seppo, can you give me a moment with Soren, alone?"
The man nodded and stepped away, back the way we came.
Soren eyed me. "You really don't trust him, do you?"
"Do you?"
"No. But I'd also rather not die and I know he's telling the truth. Even if he is only half goblin, I can still tell if he lies, just like every other goblin. If we let him leave, we risk Lydian knowing what we're up to, if we keep him close, at best he can tell us what Lydian is planning, at worst, we have a hostage."
I nodded. Soren's words didn't help me relax, but they made sense. "He told me Lydian is planning something, and I don't think it's something good."
Soren snorted. "When does Lydian ever plan something good? No, but I heard him too. He's definitely up to something. I could figure that out the moment he said he could use me. But if we kill Seppo, we might never know what's going on."
I sighed. "We have to do this, don't we?"
Soren nodded, his hair falling in front of his eyes. "I know you can do it, whatever the nøkken asks of you, I know you have it in you. You're strong and brave, you can do anything you wish."
A giggle spurted from my lips. Strong? Brave? I didn't feel like any of those things. But Soren thought them and brutal honesty was his specialty.
"Let's go then," I said.
"Seppo," Soren called back. "Come on."
Footsteps pounded until Seppo popped up again. As we walked, the rushing sound grew closer until the salty tinge of water was in the air. Back in Elvenhule we would go down to the docksides to swim and the smell of the ocean was always my favorite. In the dark cavern, my heart twisted with homesickness as once again I smelled the sea. I pictured the water rushing, sloshing, roaring like the force of nature it was. I was a good diver when I was young; I could still hold my breath for a long time. Surely, I could do this. I could, I would, save Soren, just like he'd saved me.
"It's my fault you're poisoned, you know," I whispered, hoping Seppo wouldn't hear.
"No," he said plainly. "It isn't. I could've let you die, save myself. My instincts would have agreed with that course of action. But I wasn't listening to my instincts, I was listening to something else."
"Your heart?" I raised an eyebrow.
He smirked. "You should know by now I'm a heartless monster."
From behind us, Seppo was pretending to heave. "Ugh. If I wanted to see a blossoming sexual relationship, I'd have stuck to my mother."
Heat crawled up my neck. "Sexual?"
"Seppo," Soren said, "I hardly ever agree with my uncle so take this as the special occasion that it's worth. You talk too much. And you're beginning to annoy me."
Seppo's eyes widened at the dangerous tone Soren's voice had taken and he nodded vigorously. Then, just because the man couldn't seem to help being obnoxious, he pantomimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.
"If I don't kill him because he's working for Lydian, I'm going to kill him because he's a pain in the ass," I muttered under my breath.
Soren's lips twitched into the ghost of a smile. Then he stopped sharply, good arm out to block us from going further. I peered over his shoulder and my eyes widened in awe.
The salty water fell from a waterfall overhead, the current swift as it spiraled down and down into a whirlpool. The water was as black as night, moving at a pace that could sweep even the strongest swimmers away. I was a good swimmer, but this?
It doesn't matter. You need to save Soren. And this is how you'll do it. I swallowed. I could do this. I hope.
"Do you know where the lair would be?" Soren asked.
"There's got to be an underwater cove, somewhere," Seppo said.
I unhooked the bow and quiver from my back, but kept the stiletto at my side, just in case. Then I narrowed me eyes at Seppo. "You better be right; if you're not, I'll kill you."
"I am right," he said. "I know I am."
Discreetly, I turned and whispered in Soren's ear. "If it came to it, you could take him, right?"
He snorted with contempt. "A half-goblin? I'd have to be an inch from death not to take him."
I stepped forward onto the cold, slippery rock.
"I'll be back soon," I said and dived in.
The coldness of the water shocked me and I barely had a chance to recover before the rapid current swept me forward. I took a breath, forcing as much air into my lungs as I could, and dived deep. Despite the salt in the water, I opened my eyes to watch the dark currents spiral down. With a powerful kick I pushed my body into one of the faster currents, riding it down to the bottom. My eyes blurred at the speed and behind my ears the pressure build up until I was sure my brain would explode. There had to be an entrance somewhere.
The steady burning in my chest reminded me of my ever dwindling supply of oxygen but I'd held my breath for seven minutes in my prime. Even now, with my body begging for air, I was sure I could at least go for five.
I spotted the hole and propelled myself to it. The current pulled at me again, it's ever-seeking fingers grasping at my clothes. I should've taken them off, never mind the embarrassment, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
I fought as the current tried to pull me back into the vortex, pulling myself from rocky outcrop to rocky outcrop. My muscles burned with exhaustion, my lungs burst into flames. Fighting a flow this strong was using up all my extra air. As my head grew light, I made a final thrust into the hole.
Inside the small hole, the water was calmer, lapping back and forth in gentle waves. My muscles relaxed as the calm water became clear and just as black spots edged on my vision the tunnel shot upward, then to the right and my head burst from the water into the sweet, cold air. I sucked up as much as I could, gasping until I caught my breath. Then I pulled myself forward, up onto the stones the water lapped gently at.
A few feet before me the loose stones changed into hard ground. Above me, the ceiling glittered with crystals in an array of blues and purples and reds. I followed the stone, hearing the sound of a violin playing ever-so-sweetly.
I paused, listening in shock. Music wasn't really a thing in the Permafrost. I was sure some goblins enjoyed it, but it would be a guilty pleasure. Never something anyone would dare partake in by choice. If you couldn't injure someone with it or use it to your advantage, what good was it? Back before I was taken, I'd loved music. My father would strum his guitar and I'd sing the beautiful songs my mother taught me about fair maidens and dazzling heroes. That was a long time ago, though, and I didn't know the words anymore. It didn't matter, it wasn't like they were true.
The hypnotic sound wrapped around me in a warm embrace, inviting me forward to stay forever and listen to the sweetness. The chords changed, managing to be sweet and melancholy and somber all at once, they seized my heart and brought it a-flight. The crystals twinkled with the music and the world danced around me, blissful and beautiful.
I stopped suddenly, hand on my stiletto, and drew a quick slice across the tip of my finger. As the blood welled in the cut, the spell broke. The music was still beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but it no longer enthralled me. The crystals disappeared into dark stone formations colored red as blood.
The nøkken loved a fisherman's daughter who lived by his lake. The fisherman was poor and bad at his trade until the nøkken made an offer. Never would the fisherman want for anything, if he gave him his daughter when she turned eighteen. When the woman was brought down to the lake to meet her husband, she cringed at his scales and webbed fingers. Thrusting a knife in her chest, she cried she'd never love a monster as she died. The blood poured into the water and the nøkken in his sorrow let the flowers turn red. He played his song every night, one of love and loss and mourning, in hopes that one day another would come down to the water and be with him forever.
I shuddered, casting my gaze across the cave. In the shadows was the figure of a man and in the corners, lying in beds of flowers with seaweed in their hair were the bodies of women that came down to the water. All of them were perfectly preserved even though age should've turned them to dust.
The figure moved and I gripped my blade, ready to strike. But as the man came out from the shadows, I found myself lowering my weapon. His clothes, once beautiful and elaborate were ripped in shreds, his long coat tattered and frayed. He watched me silently, gazing at me with sad eyes the color of pond scum. His skin was mottled green and black. He brought his violin to his side as he came forward, slowly, carefully, like the slightest movement would scare me away.
"You have heard my song?" he asked, his voice low and mournful, with a slight pinch of hope mixed in.
"It's beautiful," I admitted. "But not why I came." I had to word the next part carefully, not to offend this powerful creature with the sadness in his eyes. "I come to ask for a favor and in return, I will give one to you."
The nøkken sighed lowly and lines of sadness creased his face as he looked back at the bodies of his loves, then at me. "You've felt sadness too," he whispered. "Ours would not be a happy love."
I doubted many of his loved were happy, but I wasn't about to say so.
"I need your help," I said. "Something only you can do."
His eyebrows rose. "Pray tell, but if I can do it, there will be a price. There always is a price. I keep my word, but you must keep yours. She did not, but I always did." He caressed the flower-like stones surrounding us. "They've turned to stone, it was so long ago, but my heart, it aches like it was just this morn."
"I'll keep my word," I said, swallowing at the thought of what this creature might want me to do. "But you need to help me."
"What do you wish for?" he asked.
"My...someone I care about, deeply, has been poisoned by lindworm venom. He doesn't have long left. I need an antidote; I need to save him." The desperation in my voice was palpable. Just a few decades ago I'd be glad to see Soren burn. Now I was going and begging deadly magical strangers for help to keep him alive.
The nøkken nodded. "He is not human, like you, is he? If he was, he'd be dead already."
I bit my lip. "He is goblin."
The hint of a sad, sad smile played on the nøkken's lips. "Then I suppose I am not the only one with unlucky loves. I will help you for a price."
"What is it?" I braced myself; whatever it was, I could do it.
"You have such sadness in your eyes, child," he mused. "Sing me a song to play in the caverns. Maybe it will give me luck."
I blinked, taken aback. A song? He wanted me to sing a song?
"I—I can't do that," I stuttered. "I'm not, I don't have any material or ideas or—"
The nøkken chuckled softly. "Oh, I think you do. That is my price, a song from your heart. That or your love dies and maybe you can stay here with me."